I Should've Known, So Why Didn't I?
by beachbumyeahh
Summary: ...No, that was his fault. He should’ve known. Zeke


_ …Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_S__omewhere__ along in the bitterness_

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life…._

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen. I'll be back in a few, so stay put." The singer said, coming down the stage. He watched him go down. How could he sing that song? Of all the songs, why that? He felt more miserable than ever now.

The bartender looked at him interestingly. "What'll it be kid?"

Zeke looked lost, lost in this big world of ours. The song had got to him; he didn't even know why he had stayed even when he had heard it start. "Just..just something strong."

The bartender nodded his head, leaving him with his thoughts.

Why had he? He knew the song would bring back so many memories. Just the lyrics could bring him down. He shook his head, trying to get his senses right. It just shook a part of him. He couldn't take it.

"Here you go kid, anything else?" The bartender handed him his drink,

He just shook his head, "Nothing else Joe." He took the drink, and tasted it. His throat burned, the alcohol running down. But somehow, he was thankful that he was experiencing this kind of pain. He deserved pain, hadn't he? Life wasn't fair with him. He remembered back to his high school days, where all the pain had started.

He hadn't known. Nobody noticed. That was how selfish they had become. He had been too concentrated with his life, trying to get a scholarship for college, that he hadn't noticed all the signs. If maybe, he had been there, maybe he would have saved her.

_…__Somewhere along in the bitterness_

If someone would have noticed, just maybe, he wouldn't be in this mess. He wouldn't be sitting in a bar, feeling this kind of pain. That maybe, she would be here with him. That's all his heart had ever wanted, all he ever dreamed. But he turned into something he hated; he hadn't given her the attention. He hadn't thought that she had problems too; he thought he was the only one with problems. He hadn't known.

No, that was his fault.

He _**should've**_known.

You would have thought, 3 years after, he would have moved on. But no, how could he? How could he move on, when those thoughts lingered in his mind?

She had died, he watched her die. Those last moments, it was the most horrible thing he had ever seen. His beautiful princess, lying in her bed, bleeding whatever is left of her. He could never forget the feeling. The feeling that everything you worked for was gone. It felt so painful. He had felt so alone. Everything you loved was gone, like his whole world was crashing down. He remembered how he had yelled at the girl who had answered his call when he had called 911, the tears that came running down when he had tried to feel a heartbeat. He had almost tried to take the razor and just join her, but he knew better. She wouldn't have wanted it.

He watched her when she was taken; he wasn't allowed to come with them. He wasn't family, they said. But he was as close as one. He had called her brother, and all her friends.

He surveyed her room, maybe some sort of trace. He found a letter, hastily written next to their picture on her table. It was written for him, he read the letter, tears dripping from his eyes.

_I love you. I just couldn't take it anymore, I had these problems you wouldn't understand nor listen to. Have a wonderful life__, find a girl and have a happy family.__ I'm sorry._

_Sharpay_

She had written so little, but it meant a lot. If he, they had just been there, they would saved her life. She would have been here, living the life, having fun. There was so much going on, and not a single soul noticed anything. She had died so young, somehow inside him, he had died too.

He had already finished his drink; he felt more miserable than ever.

"You're ruining yourself." The man next to him said coldly.

Zeke looked to the right at him, "It's not like you're taking care of yourself either Ryan." He said as cold.

"But I'm not ruining myself. She wouldn't have wanted you to be like this." Ryan said, putting his drink down.

Zeke just shook his head, tears sprung to his eyes. But he wouldn't let it fall, no, not in public. "Yeah, and what do you know?! It was _our _fault! We should've known. We should've known." He said angrily.

"It was her decision Zeke. She's happy now, I can feel it." Ryan said, not caring that the guy beside him was shaking with rage.

"But I should have stopped her! If only we gave her the time of day, maybe.." Tears made their way down his cheeks; he was shaking now, clutching the glass hard. "..maybe she would still be here."

Ryan didn't reply. He thought of this every day. But he had to make Zeke understand, he should move on. He knew Sharpay would have liked it. Zeke silently let more tears fall from his eyes; he just couldn't take it anymore, he just couldn't.

"I miss her too, you know." Ryan whispered.

Zeke looked at him sadly. "I just..I miss her so much. It doesn't feel right for me to live, and she…she died."

"You know she doesn't want you to be like this." Ryan said, downing his drink.

Zeke nodded, wiping his tears away. "I know. But.." He said trailing off.

"Zeke, Sharpay loved you. Keep the memories with you always." Ryan said, getting up. He patted Zeke on the back, and left.

Zeke lowered his head and let the tears fall, he knew she wouldn't have liked him like this. But how could she leave him? She was his everything. He had loved her with every fiber of his body, sometimes he had wished he hadn't stopped himself from dying next to her. Maybe if he had died too, they would be happy in heaven. He can almost feel her watching him from above.

His tears till fell from his eyes, his whole body shaking, "Why would you leave me Shar? I love you." He softly whispered to himself, he knew he was looking crazy talking to himself, but he felt it, she was near him.

"I just miss you." He closed his eyes and remembered all the times they had shared. "..so much."

_..And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life..._

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AN: Hate it? Loved it? Review. I just wrote this to get over the whole writer's block thing. Now I can write again, that's why I updated some of my stories. :D_  
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